Color Me Blue...

Color Me Blue

by Mina Lobo

I feast but never fill up,

I bleed myself for love,

I tire of fruitless praying

for blessings from above.

So I don’t want to party,

and I don’t want to fight.

I don’t want to sing and

I don’t want to write.

No…

I just want my slumber

to buoy me away

along its twilight waters,

far from the break of day.

No longer to remember,

nor struggle to forget,

all that which evades me and

all that I regret.

Consciousness, you mock me

and burden with the weight

of all those who despise me, 

disdain me, and berate.

My suffering’s eternal,

which nothing can dispel,

and others’ joys, infernal;

reminders of my hell.

But overwhelming sorrow

in dreams must fade away,

or die, oppressed by horrors

of nightmare’s evil play.

Yes…

There’s heaven to be found

in surcease of sensation,

below or above ground—

Nirvana in negation.

Then let me now be senseless,

and ever so remain.

The devil take your red pill,

let blue snuff out the pain.