Folks, this is another one of them posts for which my adult content warning is well worth heeding.
Kinky sex is one of those things some folks think they've only just created when, really, folks have been "doing it" in ways differing from societal norms for ages. Of course, what constitutes "normal" depends on where you are (and
when you are, I suppose). Traditionally, the guy-facing-gal "missionary" position has been a commonly expected sexual position in the west. And that's nothing to sneer at, folks. (Well, unless you're the kind of sad sack who likes to sneer at two consenting adults having a good time with each other.) Anyways, beyond the "vanilla," lies a range of sexual practices long considered aberrant or kinky, including bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, among other things. These are slowly losing their kink factor, methinks, though it may be a looooong time before they're considered "normal."
Y U SO SEX-AY?
In the case of peeps who enjoy being tied up, it can be that they relish abandoning their daily burdens and being managed by another. Those who discipline may feel a lack of power in their workaday lives and enjoy wielding complete control over the submissive. Or maybe we don't need to delve any deeper into the psyches of those who get off on a bit of kink—perhaps the sensual pleasures evoked from these dark pursuits are their own enticement and reward. Anyway, I don't think I can explain it better than
Madonna did:
Some girls they like candy,
and others they like to grind.
I'll settle for the back of your hand
somewhere on my behind.
Treat me like I'm a bad girl,
even when I'm being good to you.
I don't want you to thank me,
you can just...spank me.
RECIPES
Click here to learn more about kink.
I think most kink definitely stems from an unconscious or psychological need, and I think control (or lack of it) is at the top of the heap. Fun post! :-)
ReplyDeleteLove this post! I see all kinds of books about bondage and stuff out nowadays, thanks to the rampant success of Fifty Shades of Grey (a book I am still mildly curious about, even though I've never made it through the first chapter) Personally, I would never judge someone else on how they choose to get off. As long as nobody is trying to spank ME, I'm good.
ReplyDeleteYep, I think Madonna just about sums it up there. Tie me up and spank me and if you could do the pots and the laundry after, that'd be great. What I really want to know though is this: Why don't I look that good in a basque?
ReplyDeleteI think the psychology behind kinks is fascinating. I do think it's a generalisation though to say that people submit because they have too much pressure and other people dominate because they have no control. Some people are just wired that way, a lot of the time it has nothing to do with their situations.
ReplyDeleteJust don't forget your safe word... erk! But in all seriousness, an open, adventurous lover is an amazing thing, combined with complete trust and respect, there is nothing to surpass such a pairing/relationship. As to the longevity of such a coupling, that's a completely different matter altogether.
ReplyDeleteA posting like this, dealing with subject matter that many veer away from, ignore, or just think is plain wrong, also requires trust in the posting. I could relate some anecdotal experiences, and as much as I would like to share, an open forum such as this, I think discretion is the best option - I'd hate to spoil my goody-two-shoes image :)
I agree that the psychology behind kink is interesting, but then again, the psychology behind any type of what people like in the bedroom is interesting. Sometimes it was triggered by life, and sometimes it just is what it is.
ReplyDeleteBut I am glad the subject is becoming less taboo, because one that seems safer to talk about it rather than make assumptions, and two, sex shouldn't be a taboo subject.
____
Find me:
Blog: http://allysonlindt.com
email: Allyson.Lindt@gmail.com
Twitter: @AllysonLindt
I've always been very vanilla. But with my guy I am definitely open to more experimentation. We have some toys and all but haven't used them much b/c I have a very low toleration for pain.
ReplyDeleteIt really doesn't do to hit each other over the head with them.
DeleteI know several people in the lifestyle and the dynamics and psychology behind it are really interesting. A lot of it is to do with control, either giving it or taking it, and what drives people to find sexual release with it.
ReplyDeleteVery cool topic!
Haven't made ir back here as often as I'd like (trying to get to as many atoz-ers as possible) but I'm glad I hit this one.
ReplyDeleteRuby is participating in the A to Z Challenge
Ruby Wilbur
Greetings human,
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I'm an adult dog so I reckoned it was okay to visit your site. Speaking of kinky and I have no idea why, but in Britain they have this thing called "dogging".
"Dogging is a British English euphemism for engaging in sexual acts in a public or semi-public place or watching others doing so. There may be more than two participants; both group sex and gang banging can be included. As observation is encouraged, voyeurism and exhibitionism are closely associated with dogging. The two sets of people involved often meet either randomly or (increasingly) arrange to meet up beforehand over the Internet."
Of course, being a dog and we wonder why humans don't greet his way, we sniff each others genitals as a way of saying hello, how are you...
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)
Sometimes when you try Kink and it doesn't work, you laugh if you're comfortable in your own skin and with your partner. And laughing together for me is an aphrodisiac. OH! You haven't posted L yet. Sorry. :-)
ReplyDeleteI got a lil kinky in my post today too. Great minds think alike but I like the way yours thinks better! Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeletehttp://STFU4ABetterRelationship.WordPress.com
@Lexa - Thanks, Lady!
ReplyDelete@Karen Tamara - I don't judge either, so long as the parties involved are consenting (human) adults.
@Juliette - "Tie me up and spank me and if you could do the pots and the laundry after, that'd be great." ROTFL! (And yeah, wouldn't it EVER!!!) ;-)
@Kellie - Agreed.
@Mark K - Well, you'll notice I didn't go into any details of kink in my own life. ;-)
@JoJo - Good on you, for being open to experimentation!
@Allyson - Word. Honest, respectful conversation can do away with all sorts of prejudices and fears.
@Maple Syrup Land - I don't personally know any folks into BDSM, but I can say that what I've read from folks who are is admirably welcoming and generous with the relation of very personal, intimate details.
@Ruby - Thanks, I'm trying to get around, but it really is a mammoth list, ain't it??? :-)
@klahanie - Bizarre. So much for the famed British reserve, eh?
@Rocky - Hah, nice one! For me, laughter kills the sex-buzz. Laughter can *precede* the sexy intercourse, but once Transformers are go, I'm pretty...focused. :-)
@STFU...Relationship - I liked that post, and especially enjoyed your L for Love post!
Kink is where its at. Leather, bondage, toys...Not into spanking though. I find it abhorrent. Never ever lay a hand on me like that or I will cut it off. ;)
ReplyDelete