Zappers! ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Zappers of the libido, aka anaphrodisiacs, are things that kill the sex-ay buzz. (Yeah, yeah, I know—my theme's supposed to be about stuff that turns folks on, not off. Hey, Z is a really, freaking, hard letter, and I am le tired and a bit heart-achy, so...so there!)

Le sigh.

THINGS THAT ZAP THE SEX-AY

• Antidepressants (not all; check w/your doc)
• Antiandrogen drugs
• Booze (in excess)
• Chronic illness/pain
• Depression
• Fatigue
• Hops
• In-laws (if you live with them, for instance)
• Iron deficiency (in women, particularly)
• Licorice! (Excessive consumption of licorice lowers testosterone levels in men. So just sniff it, don't eat it!)
• Low levels of testosterone
• Marjoram
• Menopause
• Opiods
• Other medications (like those for high blood pressure, for example)
• Pregnancy 
• Quinine
• Raising children (all ages)
• Refined carbohydrates
• Stress
• Valerian

Please, folks: if you suspect that/wonder if any of the above meds/substances have zapped your libido, for the love of all that's holy, talk to your docs before you stop/start taking them. If you really need your blood pressure meds, there may be other ways to deal with the lowered libido, so just chillax and don't go self-medicating, 'k? Thanks.

SOURCES

• 6 Surprising Sex-Drive Killers
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaphrodisiac
• Herbs to Decrease Libido
• Revving Up a Low Libido: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines
• Low Libido Symptoms
• Low Sex Drive in Women
• Tonic water, white bread, painkillers - the unlikely passion killers sapping your sex drive

Yearning ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

José Ferraz de Almeida Júnior
[Public domain or Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Yearning is to desire as Lindt Hazelnut Truffles are to my waistline: one increases the other, over time. (I know y'all know what I'm talkin' about; can I get an Amen???)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Everybody knows that absence makes the heart grow hornier fonder, right? It's pretty simple logic, really: sex with the one you love makes you feel good (I hope, for your sake). Your lover goes away on business for a while. As the days pass, the high from your last sexual encounter diminishes, until it's completely gone from your system. You start to crave that high. The longer you go without your lover, the stronger the craving, until your babe returns and WHAM! (And W00F!)

RECIPES
Understand that I'm not advocating manipulative behavior on anyone's part, I'm just noting things which have caused yearning for a man in me, which might work for you, if you feel like shaking things up a bit. Do, or do not, but don't be cruel to a heart that's true, 'cause that's fucked up.

• Be unpredictable about when you reach out to your lover; uncertainty fuels longing.
• Give your lover a couple of nights off, encouraging him/her to hang out w/pals, etc., while you do your own thing. Being reunited on that third night should feel oh, so good.
• If you're normally super touchy-feely w/your partner, ease up the next time y'all get together. Be as friendly, chatty, caring as you usually are, but not touchy, without making a point of the fact you're not being touchy. Less makes your lover want more.

ANTIDOTES
What if you're the one helplessly (and maybe hopelessly?) yearning for another and it's making you crazy? Well, le suck (and believe me, I know). But the suckage will decrease as time goes by. (I promise.) In the meantime...

If it's a temporary separation (due to travel or school or short-term alien abduction) (What? That last thing could totally happen.):

1. Take care of yourself (eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, take vitamins/medications as recommended by your doctor).
2. Fill your free time with things you love doing. If you've no particular passions beyond your lover, find some.
3. Folks tend to let regular get-togethers w/pals slide in the first flush of romance. If you did, apologize to your neglected friends, swear you'll do better from now on, and treat them to a fun night out. (Or in with your DVR/DVD player/VCR.) (Hey, I still have/use a VCR; don't judge.)

If it's a breakup or a case of love you KNOW will never be requited, to the above, add:

4. Give yourself a finite period of time to mourn your loss. (I'd recommend not exceeding 1 - 2 weeks, but I'm not a doctor, so WTF do I know?) Of course, if the breakup comes after years of couple-dom, grieving may prove a longer process than a couple of weeks can handle. However long you set yourself, do all your talking/crying/ice-cream eating/wine-ing then but, when the period's up, STOP. You, and your friends, will need a break.
5. After this mourning period, if intrusive thoughts about the person, or the relationship, plague you, sit down and write/type up thoughts that please you/make you happy, which have nothing to do with him or her. Then, when the undesired thoughts invade your tired mind, look at your list and think on one of the good thoughts instead. Keep doing this until you don't need to anymore. (This is a pretty basic exercise employed in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, one I learned from a licensed psychiatrist years ago and, while I can't say it's easy, I've found that it does help if I keep at it.)
6. If, after employing all of the above five steps for at least a month, you don't feel more human/sane, please seek professional help.

If it's a loss due to the death of your loved one

The grieving process differs in such a way that step #4 cannot possibly qualify as helpful, at all. But I think the other steps I listed above are important, especially #6.

In the first scenario, you've the luxury of knowing the separation is temporary, as well as the reasonable expectation of your lover's return. In the other two, well...my own battered heart goes out to you. Know that you're loved and still capable of loving, abundantly, as long as your heart's still beating. I hope healing comes quickly for you, but until it does, just keep going. You have to. Yes, you really do.

LINKS

• Coping with a Breakup or Divorce
• Dealing with Loss
• Finding Joy After Loss

X-Rated Movies ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Buy it from Babeland!

X-rated movies are the epitome of the man-made aphrodisiac. They exist to turn folks on. Sure, women are objectified in 'em, but so are men. Everyone's objectified, W00T, W00T! (Hey, equal opportunity rocks, OK?)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
It's been said again and again that men can't tear themselves away from porn because they're so visually oriented. You know what? So are women. According to one of BYU's* Women's Services and Resources Web pages, "1 of 3 visitors to all adult web sites are women," and "9.4 million women access adult web sites each month."

Which is all to say, whether they view it alone or with their partners, both sexes be diggin' the porn. Personally, I find it tricky to locate porn that doesn't contain some element of squick for me (though I'll persevere until I do). (Strictly in the interest of science.) But I sure as hell don't want to watch it with a partner. (My jealousy-o-meter goes from 0 to 1,000,000,000,000 in exactly a microsecond. So if any dude o' mine's checkin' out another chick, for any reason, I don't want to know.)

*Yes, that BYU!

RECIPES

*Links to naughtiness removed bc I've had a change of heart about publishing them.*

Click here for more on X-rated movies.

Walnuts ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By User:AndonicO (Own work. Edit by Digon3)
[GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html),
CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)
or CC-BY-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Walnuts, like pine nuts earlier in the alphabet, provide a very satisfying crunch between one's molars and are damned tasty as sundae toppings and in carrot cake. But what've they got going on for them that makes them aphrodisiacs?

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Walnuts contain the amino acid arginine, which is known to be helpful in numerous ways, among them, improving "athletic performance." (Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.) (OK, so as a natural Viagra, it's not exactly a libido starter, but damn; W's a hard letter, y'all!)

Don't overdo it with the walnuts, though; too much arginine in your system can be problematic for some folks.

RECIPES

• Vanilla Candied Walnuts
• Penne with Broccoli Rabe, Walnuts, and Pecorino
• Carrot Cake

Click here for more on walnuts.

Sources

Vanilla ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By B.navez (Photo : B.navez)
[GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html),
CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)
or CC-BY-SA-2.5-2.0-1.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5-2.0-1.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons
(Holy shit, that's a long attribution!)

Vanilla beans bring the sex-ay, y'all. You wouldn't think it, to look at one, but they do. On the other hand, given their phallic shape*, maybe you would think it.

*Um...it's sorta phallic shaped. Kinda.

Well, anyway...

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Remember the fella who did a study and determined that the scent of licorice increases the flow of blood to chicks' genitals? Apparently, the scent of vanilla does the same for "mature men," by which I believe is meant older men, as I've yet to meet a mature one. (I kid, I kid.)

(Oh, c'mon, it was a joke; back off, already. Sheesh.)

(Besides which, I'm the least mature of any creature living.)

(Fact.)

RECIPES

• Vanilla Spice Bread
• Vanilla Bean Cheesecake
• Vanilla Bean-Coconut Cupcakes with Frosting

Click here for more about vanilla.

Source.

Uxoriousness ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Image Source

Uxorious* (uck-SOAR-ee-us) is an adjective meaning to be "...doting upon, foolishly fond of, or affectionately submissive toward one's wife." (Source) The bottom line, Gentle Readers, is that showing affection to either spouse, on a regular basis, can be a powerful aphrodisiac.

*I know, I had to drive around the block a few times to find a "U" word for my theme, but it works. (Well, it works for me, anyway.) (Plus, we all know how lazy I am, so...)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
That chemical, "certain something" will attract us to our partners and, as they endear themselves to us, we find ourselves wanting to do for them, don't we? Too, being shown affection frequently makes one feel secure, beloved, and I can't think of a better foundation for sexy intercourse in a committed relationship than those two feelings right there.

RECIPES

• The Importance of Affection
• How To Show Affection
• How To Be A More Affectionate Partner

Click here for more about affection.

Teasing ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Trailer screenshot (Monkey Business trailer) [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Teasing as an aphrodisiac is not of the "Nyah, nyah" variety. It's the type of teasing where you prime your partner's pump (so to speak) but do not readily rush to resolution. I mean, eventually you do, sure, but you start your lover's motor, let the car idle for a bit, then lather-rinse-repeat. (Yeah, I'm mixing metaphors now, but dang, this Challenge has wiped me out. I'm not feeling up to my usual lyrical prose, y'all.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
It's all about the buildup, man. You start off slowly, with hints and suggestions, which gets the most important sexual organ, the brain, bubbling. Drop a touch here, a stroke there. Tantalize your partner with flashes of the Sex-ay Yet To Come. Later, take the object of your affection to the brink and let her or him slip back down just a bit. Do this in a steady stream of starts and stops until your lover can take no more and then give him/her the orgasm of a lifetime. But do be sure to bring about the happy ending in that session—winding your lover up only to leave her/him high and dry is cruel. (Unless, of course, your lover digs that shizz, in which case, get to it.)

RECIPES

• The Art Of Teasing Women
• Sexy Ways to Tease Him
• Erotic Sexual Denial

Click for more on teasing/flirting.

Sexy Talk ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Sexy_Mouth.jpg: Nyki m derivative work: H005 (Sexy_Mouth.jpg)
[CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Sexy talk is an art. After all, what one finds sexy another can find gross. Clearly, it's important to tailor your talk to your partner's wants and needs. Some folks enjoy cutesy-sexy talk, others funny-sexy, while yet others want it down-and-dirty-sexy. And, of course, there are folks who don't want to hear anything but their and their partners' labored breaths. Diff'rent strokes. (Heh heh.) All I know is, if a fella tries the funny-sexy with me, we're done for the night. I can't get my freak on when I'm giggling. (Take note, fellas.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Sex being a sensual experience, appealing to the sense of hearing is just one more way to rile a body up. Too, hearing what your partner wants to do to you while it's happening can shoot a charge to the brain (and subsequently, the naughty bits) like no other. And sometimes, demanding what you want aloud can be just the thing that makes the parties involved see fireworks. W00F.

Mind you pay attention to your lover's reactions to what you say: whimpers, moans, ragged gasps can all be very positive reinforcements. Loud gasps of shock and outrage, however...well, that's the way the nookie crumbles.

RECIPES

• Dirty Talk: How To Say All The Right Things In The Bedroom
• How To Talk Dirty Without Freaking Her Out
• How to Talk Sexy (and Not Sound Stupid)

Click here for more on sexy talk.

Rock Concerts ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Matt from Orlando, USA (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club)
[CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Rock Concerts are relatively new to me, in terms of attendance. I was very sheltered as a teen and couldn't go to a lot of the events kids typically go to, which was le major, massive suck. While my friends went to see Duran Duran or Depeche Mode playing live, I was stuck at home, watching TV.

This kooky tarot reader I knew, in my late teens, gleefully invited me to go with her to a Psychedelic Furs concert, and she had backstage passes!!! I coulda met the FURS!!!!! But even the thought of asking my mother for permission terrified me, and sneaking out (apart from being impossible to do from our two-bedroom apartment) was never an option (you can take the gal outta Catholic School, but you can't take the Catholic School outta the gal). (God knows I've tried.) Anyway, it was only in my late 20s that I attended my first rock concert: Duran Duran at Jones Beach, Long Island, NY (August 1999). It. Was. Awesome.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Like horror movies and quarrels, when you move to the music, your body's physiological responses mimic those of sex. Case in point: A few years ago I went to see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at Webster Hall in Manhattan. Big crowd, lotsa booties shakin'—it was a blasty-blast. I went alone, so I didn't have someone to make kissy-faces at, but I was having a good time, nonetheless. Then they played their tune Weapon of Choice. It's not a song about sex, or anything, but there was something about the driving, forward motion that seemed to flip a switch, and not just within me. While I felt this electric thrill course through me, I noticed some couples around me getting pretty touchy-feely with one another. One couple began to make out with gusto and it was all...whoa.  ::fans self at the memory::

RECIPES

• Live Rock Journal
• The Best Music Festivals to See in 2013
• Ticketmaster / Live Nation

Click here for more about rock concerts.

Quarrels ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Quarrels are things I tend to avoid like a severe case of the cooties. I'm spectacularly non-confrontational (unless it's a matter of life or death). (Or chocolate, in which case, you bettah get to steppin'.) I'd rather talk calmly and rationally about stuff than have a knock-down, drag-out brawl. But, you know, sometimes your partner just pisses you off and shit gets real.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Well, I suppose you could compare it to the reason why getting spooked by horror movies (as I wrote about last week) turns folks on: the physiological arousal is similar to that of sexual arousal (blood pumping/quickened breathing/adrenaline rushing, etc.). And, as we do after a fright, we seek some subsequent comforting from our partners (like, make-up sex).

RECIPES

• Why Make-Up Sex and Breakup Sex Are So Good 
• Explosive Sex: The Surprising Turn-on You Can't Ignore
• The Advantages Of Make-Up Sex

Click here for tips on healthier ways to quarrel with your significant other.

Pine Nuts ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Burgkirsch [CC-BY-SA-2.0-de
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/de/deed.en)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Pine nuts* are nuts I can really get behind. Er...I mean, they're super small and the devil to harvest (I imagine), but when your molars slowly bite down on them they yield so satisfyingly...

Ahem. I don't know why that turns me on, but it does, OK? Don't judge.

*Well, actually, they're the seeds of the pine tree, but let's not quibble over trifles.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Akin to oysters, they've a high zinc content, which has long been associated with "improving sexual potency in men." Well, rock on, then. All I know is they're in pesto, which I heart, as is basil, which was mentioned in the first week of A to Z as a promoter of blood circulation, so, W00F!

RECIPES

• Baked Asparagus With Pine Nuts And Gruyere
• Pesto
• Pine Nut Cookies

Click here for more about pine nuts.

Sources

Oysters ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Attribution: Chris 73 / Wikimedia Commons

Oysters, blerch. Uh, I mean, Yum! I guess. Color me "not a fan," but whatevs; different strokes. So to speak.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
In part, it's one of those, "Well, it looks like girly-bits, so that's hawt!" kinda things (like it was with figs, a few letters back). Also, oysters are high in zinc, AND contain stuff which stimulates release of testosterone, which is good for fellas' abilities to...um. Well, you know.

Hey, man—I didn't make this shizz up, I'm just reporting it.

RECIPES

• Oyster Soup
• Rockin' Oysters Rockefeller
• Broiled Oysters with Garlic Breadcrumbs

Click here for more about oysters.

Sources

Nutmeg ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Jorge Barrios (Own work) [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Nutmeg is what comes to mind when I think of pumpkin pie spices, or chai, maybe. You know, comfort food type goodness. Not sexy fun good times. But it seems I should redirect my way of thinking on the spice.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
It seems Chinese babes were the first to recognize the sexiness of nutmeg, and some research does indicate that it can ratchet up the game of mating male mice. Though there doesn't appear to be any certainty that the effect is the same on humans, nor is it quite clear what the mechanism of nutmeg is as regards stimulation of the libido, what the hell? It's tasty, at least, and that's good enough for me. Though have a care—too much of the stuff can cause hallucinations (or worse).

RECIPES

• Pumpkin Pancakes with Nutmeg Whipped Cream
• Pumpkin Curry Soup
• Crème Caramel Bread Pudding

Click for more about nutmeg.

Sources
 

Massage ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Nick Webb (Flickr: Massage)
[CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)]
via Wikimedia Commons

Massages are wonderful, aren't they? (Or so I've heard; the last shoulder massage I had gave me a wicked headache that was not tempered by judiciously taken Advil and lasted over 24 hours, so, le suck.) Anyway, lots of folks swear by them for their medicinal properties, however, they also seem capable of providing a healing of a far different nature. (If ya know what I mean. Bom-chicka-whomp-whomp.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Massage stimulates circulation which, as we've already seen in previous A to Z entries, proves beneficial to sexy intercourse. Because it promotes relaxation, the mind turns itself away from the cares of the world and into a state of receptivity which can only help with the introduction of intimacy.

According to Eric J. Leech of Planet Green, a libido-revving massage would be given with cornstarch. (Yeah. Cornstarch. Who knew?) Mr. Leech assures that "...the initial sensation of cornstarch dropping on the skin mimics the sensation of liquid silk." (W00F!) I suppose you could spend a mini-fortune on scented massage oils and whatnot, but if the cornstarch thing works, it would seem a bargain, by comparison. (See Recipe #1, below, for more on this method.)

RECIPES

• 5 Surprisingly Effective All-Natural Aphrodisiacs (That You Probably Have in Your Kitchen)
• Give Her A Sensual Massage
• 35 Sexy Places to Touch Your Man

Click here for more about erotic massage.

Licorice ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Alcibiades (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Licorice, as far as I know, does not enjoy the wide appeal of its brasher cousin, ginger. (I dunno if they're in anyway related; I'm just callin' 'em cousins 'cause they both grow underground. Artistic license, OK?) (Gosh!)

Anyway, I find it a bit bizarre that, when I posted about anise, the similarity between its taste and that of licorice was almost universally disparaged by the chicks who commented. (I, myself, am not a fan.) AND YET, here 'tis, turning up as one of nature's aphrodisiacs.

"WTF?" you may ask.

Here's the thing: it's not the taste but the scent of licorice that turns us on.

No, really.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Some guy did a study and learned that the scent of licorice, in combination with other specific scents, increased the flow of blood to the genitals of both male and female subjects by, like, a lot. (For dudes, it was a licorice/doughnut combo that got them frisky, and for the babes it was licorice/cucumber.)

Surreal.

Note that there were other scents that turned people on, the most effective among them being cinnamon buns. (Lawdhammercy, I knew there was a reason why I get all flushed whenever I near a Cinnabon. You know, apart from the obvious. Cinnabon, MMMMM!)

RECIPES

• Healing Licorice Root Tea
• Homemade Root Beer
• Licorice and Lime Parfait

Click here to learn more about licorice.

Sources

Kink ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Folks, this is another one of them posts for which my adult content warning is well worth heeding. 

Kinky sex is one of those things some folks think they've only just created when, really, folks have been "doing it" in ways differing from societal norms for ages. Of course, what constitutes "normal" depends on where you are (and when you are, I suppose). Traditionally, the guy-facing-gal "missionary" position has been a commonly expected sexual position in the west. And that's nothing to sneer at, folks. (Well, unless you're the kind of sad sack who likes to sneer at two consenting adults having a good time with each other.) Anyways, beyond the "vanilla," lies a range of sexual practices long considered aberrant or kinky, including bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, among other things. These are slowly losing their kink factor, methinks, though it may be a looooong time before they're considered "normal."


Y U SO SEX-AY?

By Olivier T from Rennes, France (Corset and handcuffs)
[CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

In the case of peeps who enjoy being tied up, it can be that they relish abandoning their daily burdens and being managed by another. Those who discipline may feel a lack of power in their workaday lives and enjoy wielding complete control over the submissive. Or maybe we don't need to delve any deeper into the psyches of those who get off on a bit of kink—perhaps the sensual pleasures evoked from these dark pursuits are their own enticement and reward. Anyway, I don't think I can explain it better than Madonna did:

Some girls they like candy,
and others they like to grind.
I'll settle for the back of your hand
somewhere on my behind.
Treat me like I'm a bad girl,
even when I'm being good to you.
I don't want you to thank me,
you can just...spank me.

RECIPES

• 7 Kinky Sex Tips For Curious Vanilla Girls
• Kinky Sex Tips (from Men's Health) 
• Top 50 Kinky Ideas for a Sexy Relationship

Click here to learn more about kink.

Jewelry ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Petitx (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Jewelry has been used to adorn the human body for, like, forever. (Well, at least since 75,000 years ago, according to Wikipedia.) It's also been given as a peace offering from man to woman since the first fella left the toilet-seat up and his gal sank into the bog in the middle of the night. Or, you know, the caveman equivalent. (Probably.) But it's not only given to placate, it's also given as a sign of love, to show another she (or he) is cherished. (Or desired. Sometimes both.) (Both, if you're lucky.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Look, this one doesn't really require a lot of analysis, does it? Shiny! We likey!

But seriously, folks; you make a gal feel cherished and/or desired and it's bound to get her motor running. And what sane, hot-blooded straight guy/homosexual gal/other variants on lovers-of-the-ladies doesn't want that?

RECIPES

• Gemstones: Meanings and Properties
• How To: Buy Her Jewelry
• Buying Jewelry for Your Boyfriend

Click here to learn more about jewelry.

Click here to buy me jewelry.*


*That's not likely to work, but I thought it worth a shot.  ;-)

Imagination ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

ImUnicke [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)
or CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Imagination fuels the sexy-sexin'. C'mon, we all know that, right? We read/hear/see everywhere that the brain's the most important sexual organ there is, a claim which I cannot dispute, as mine has served me fairly well. (In the sexual arena, at least.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
The brain is ground control for all we perceive through our senses and all we put out into the world in return. The eyes tell the brain they see a thing, but it's the brain that processes the image and says, "Hey, that's pretty damned hot!" As the CPU for sensory input, it's constantly receiving and analyzing data and guiding us either to or from that which attracts or repels. And then the brain tells us how to respond. (W00F!)

Imagination comes in when we've latched on to that which the brain assured us we wanted to attract. As that relationship's intimacy deepens and becomes more physical, we fall back on learned sexual skills, but, if we are thoughtful lovers, we'll tap into our imaginations for further, and possibly new-to-us, ways in which to delight our partners (and by extension, delight ourselves). On another level, imagination has aided more than one gal in pushing through an encounter which appeared doomed from the onset. And of course, imagination's also the fairy godmother of solo ventures, if ya know what I mean. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.)

RECIPES

• 9 Reasons Sex Fantasies Are Good for You
• Top 10 Adult Board Games
• Sex Games on Amazon.com

Click here to learn more about the brain as a sexual organ.

Horror Movies ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Screenshot from "Internet Archive" of the movie Dracula (1931)
(http://www.archive.org/details/Dracula1931-Trailer) [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Horror movies have been popular from the beginning of cinematic history, in large part pushed by young Hollywood for their very commercial scariness. Why so commercial? They reckoned fellas would take their gals to the local drive-in, so the chicks could get spooked right into their letterman-jacket-clad arms, and voila—sexy-fun good times in your dad's Buick. Well, OK, there's a bit of truth to the fact that getting freaked out makes you seek comfort, but sexual healing? Really?

Yes, in actual fact. Really.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
In the 70s, some weirdos thought to conduct an experiment on poor unsuspecting folk, to see if fear-induced physiological arousal could be misattributed as sexual desire. And damned if they weren't right. The rapid heart rates and breathing caused by the fear-inspiring stimulant seems to have been mistaken for sexual interest in the (previously unknown to them) folks tossed in their paths during the scary incident, whom they later asked out for dates! And that jazz has worked on gals and guys.

OK, I'll buy that for a dollar. But here's my own personal take on this: I dig horror flicks, but liberally mixed with humor. If it's a truly frightening film, any fella wanting to "comfort" me had better be sure we watch it in the morning so I've got time to get the sexy-fun-good-times sorted out and enough time to get the movie outta my head, else I ain't sleepin' that night. And if I ain't sleepin', neither is he.

Hmmm...that could be turned to my advantage, couldn't it?

RECIPES
This gets a bit tricky, as tastes for horror and sexy vary widely. So I can only go with what has been scary/sexy for me. If you'd like to share in the comments, I'm totally interested in learning what's proved scary/sexy for you.

• The Company of Wolves (1984) W00F!
• Sleepy Hollow (1999) OhMahGah, it's cray-cray, but the blood thrills through my veins whenever the Horseman charges on, masterfully wielding his...sword. For realz, though.
• Dracula 2000 (2000) I know I'm one of the few folks turned on by this flick, on any level, but damn: Gerry Butler! Gerry Butler sexing some chick up so fine they be floatin' up to the ceiling during the sexing!!!!!

Ahem.

Click here to learn more about horror movies.

Source

Here's a wee homage to the lust-inducing genre by, appropriately enough,

The Bollock Brothers.

Garlic ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Donovan Govan. [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)
or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Garlic, huh?  is probably what you're thinking right now. Yeah, yeah, I know; consuming copious quantities of the stuff leads to breath that kicks like a mule in heat, which can hardly be conducive to kissing, much less good-time sexy-pants-type activities. On the one hand, this works perfectly in defense against vampires. On the other hand, sometimes a vampire bite's just the thing to satisfy one's unholy lust for...

Ahem. I digress. Forgive.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Like basil and cardamom, garlic increases circulation, which is believed to stir up one's passion. And, you know, if both the guy and the gal partake, ain't no dude gonna notice anything untoward when the time comes to...pucker.

RECIPES

• Garlic Steak With Garlic*
• Garlic Mashed Potatoes
• Pot Luck Garlic Bread

*'Cause I'm not about to take any chances.

Click here for more about garlic.

Sources

Figs ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Fig by Kyle_the_hacker

Figs, man. My dad loves 'em. So does my sis. I think the last fig I ate was a dried one and it left a bad taste in my mouth. (Literally.) So I can't speak to their yumminess; how about y'all? I mean, they do look all luscious and appealing and whatnot. And I do like Fig Newtons, so I'm willing to give 'em another shot 'cause they're, like, supposed to keep ya regular (and when you're a middle-aged Goth, comme moi, these things take on greater relevance, OK?). (Don't judge).

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Hmmm. Well, the fig apparently falls under the category of aphrodisiac that is believed to be a libido-starter simply because it resembles either sex's genitalia. In this case, the chick-sex.

I know, right? That's so weird.

RECIPES

• Chicken Breasts Stuffed with Figs and Spinach
• Figs and Toasted Almonds Brie
• Oatmeal, Fig, and Walnut Bars

Click here to learn more about figs.

Sources

Blogging from A to Z April 2013

Erotica ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Readers, please note that my Adult Content warning was never yet so merited as it is today.

Forewarned (twice, now) is fairwarned.

Erotica is a term I've struggled to understand. As a once-very-frequent, then not-at-all-frequent, then once-again-regular reader of romance novels, I've read a lot of sexy sex-scenes. I latched onto romance novels when I was in about fifth or sixth grade, as the nuns in my grammar school supplemented the classroom's library with Harlequins and Silhouettes. (I know, it's weird the gals woulda put that stuff out there, but what they made accessible to us would now be termed "sweet" romances, with kissing and broody male posturing, but not much in the way of nookie.) From there, I graduated to other 80s romance fare and received an education, boy. Ahem.

III Polly Philips and the Young Italian
by Édouard-Henri Avril

Anyway, I've since read loads of romance novels and the ones I've read in the last, oh, 15 years, give or take, have lots of sexy-sex in them. So I'm not really sure what distinguishes them from erotica, except that some say romance novels are courtship tales which may/may not have sex in them, whereas erotica will always have sex at the core of the protagonists' relationship(s). Readers, if you can provide me with a better definition than this, I'd love to see it, please.

Y U SO SEXY?
I'd say, "Duh," but I like to think I'm a bit more elegant than that. You know, you read about what this dude's doin' to that gal and how homegirl reciprocates in ways which are illegal in some of the 48 contiguous, you might get a little turned on, right? (Moreover; duh.)

RECIPES*

• Memoirs of Fanny Hill by John Cleland
• The Story of O by Dominique Aury
• Alt Sex Stories Text Repository

*All links lead to extremely explicit sites. If you are under 18 or easily freaked out by frank discussions and fictional tales about sex, stay the hell away from those sites and don't give me a hard time 'cause you went and clicked on the link(s) anyway, jeeeeeeeez.

Click here to learn more about erotica (and see primary Source material for this post).

Blogging from A to Z April 2013

Dancing ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Pierre-Auguste Renoir [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Dancing's a lot of fun, ain't it folks? It's creative (whether you're mixing and matching moves or choreographing your own mad stuff), it's social (you dance with your friends, you dance with a partner, though, if you're Sting, you dance alone), and it's great aerobic activity for your body. In last year's A to Z, I mentioned envisioning a group of wedding guests doing the Electric Slide to Ladytron's Destroy Everything You Touch, 'cause the tune's got a good beat for it, and I think the association I made with dance and weddings is not accidental.

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Picture it: the beat's pounding and so are your hearts as you and your special someone prance and twirl across the dance floor. Your arms go about one another, perhaps exposed flesh connects, your pulses synchronize and you drown in one another's eyes as your lips draw dangerously closer. You're both panting while the sweat pours down your backs and you realize that y'all have just got to get out of there before you...Damn, is it me, or did it just get really hot all up in here?

RECIPES

• Beauteous Ballroom
• Sexy Slow
• Torrid Tango

Click here to learn more about dancing.

Sources

Blogging from A to Z April 2013

Cardamom ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Didier Descouens (Own work)
[CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Cardamom is, like, this groovy, aromatic spice from, like, super sexy places. (Fact.) I think the first time I noticed this saucy spice was several Christmases ago (maybe 7?). I stopped by the local Lindt chocolate store (which, alas, is there no more) and discovered a delightful seasonal chocolate bar spiced with, among other things, cardamom. LAWDHAMERCY, that thing was AMAZING. Wound up buying a bunch for my sister and me for the holiday and seriously wanted to cry when they'd been devoured. Being that they were seasonal, I didn't find them again till the following Christmas but then, after that, NEVER FOUND THEM AGAIN!!!!! (Thanks a lot, Lindt, you wretched tease.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Like basil, from yesterday, cardamom increases the flow of blood in the body, which carries oxygen to all the tissues and whatnot, and gets 'em ready for a bit of the old in-out, in-out. (That's science, right there.)

RECIPES

• Cardamom Cream Pound Cake
• Vanilla Chai Buttercream Frosting
• Chai-Spiced Hot Chocolate

Click here to learn more about cardamom.

Sources

Blogging from A to Z April 2013

Basil ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

By Paul Goyette (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pgoyette/201492949/)
[CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Basil has been a fave plant of mine since I was at (my second) college. I lived in a sort-of basement apartment which had a long row of windows. I grew pots and pots of basil plants on the sill and I just adored their scent. (And they appeared to thrive on the carbon monoxide I put out at them with my cigarette smoke.) ::shrugs::

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Well, there's the aforementioned delightful scent, which tends to boost the mood (and, potentially, the urge to merge). Also, basil is purported to promote the circulation of blood in the body (and when the blood's a-flowin', stuff be a-growin', nudge nudge, wink wink).

RECIPES

• Tomato and Basil Soup
• Basil Butter
• Grilled Pizza with Tomato, Mozzarella, and Basil

Click here to learn more about basil.

Sources

Blogging from A to Z April 2013

Anise seeds ~ Aphrodisiacs from A to Z

Taken by mica uploaded by Charbelgereige [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Anise seeds come from the anise plant (bet you didn't see that coming). Similar to fennel seeds, they've long been used in foods, to spice them up, but also medicinally (for example, to ease coughs and gas pains). (And I gotta believe, there ain't nothin' hawt about flatulence.)

Y U SO SEX-AY?
Anise seeds contain the phytoestrogen anethole. Phytoestrogens are plant-derived "dietary estrogens." Essentially, consuming phytoestrogens can cause estrogenic effects in the body. Though both guys and dolls have estrogen in their systems, it's gals who benefit more from a healthy balance of estrogen, which promotes the female reproductive system. It makes us chicks feel good, and when we feel good, we want to get jiggy. (Perhaps I should only speak for myself on that one.)

I understand that anise seeds have a sweet, licorice taste, which rules them out for me (not a fan of licorice), though I could be persuaded to give recipe #3, below, a shot. (Geddit? A shot? Geddit?) Yeah, nevermind.

RECIPES

• Anise Seed Rolls
• Biscochitos (Anise Seed Cookies)
• Spiced Rum Recipe No. 5

Click here to learn more about anise.

Sources

Blogging from A to Z April 2013