Happy Hangover!

As I've mentioned recently, I'm on meds which make the imbibing of spirits unwise, so I couldn't toast the new year. But perhaps you did. Perhaps you toasted so damn hard that you never want to toast again. Aw, poor baby! But I don't mean to mock your headache/nausea/fatigue/vomiting/ vertigo/photophobia/or tremors. Au contraire, mes chéris!   Instead, I've done some research on possible hangover cures, for your benefit. Ain't that kind of me? Why, yes. Yes, it is.

WebMD advises drinking lots of water the morning after, to combat the dehydration caused by excessive boozing. Other possible options include consuming burnt toast and drinking sports drinks with electrolytes (Ed. If you don't want the sugar, I suggest something like Smart Water instead). A couple of pain-relief pills should help with the inevitable headache (though other sources warn against taking aspirin, naproxen sodium, or acetaminophen while alcohol's still in your system).

eHow seconds the re-hydration recommendation, adding that a BRAT diet the morning after comprises mild foods your stomach should be able to tolerate (Bananas, Rice, Applesause, Toast). (2024 UPDATE! The eHow link's gone rogue; here's one to WikiHow instead!)

Men's Fitness recommends eating eggs but avoiding coffee, as caffeine serves to dehydrate you further. (Ed. Though perhaps drinking twice as much water as coffee may negate this effect? The caffeine can help take the edge off your headache, just sayin'.) (ANOTHER 2024 UPDATE! The Men's Fitness link has also gone walkabout; here's one to their Hangover Prevention Guide!)

Real Simple also hops on the toast/sports drinks wagon, but tosses out the surprising suggestion of eating spicy foods which "distracts your body from focusing on your hangover." (Ed. Yeah, I'll just bet.) And apparently, the extract of prickly pear may reduce nausea. (Ed. Who knew?) (ANOTHER FRIGGING 2024 UPDATE! Real Simple's old link got real coy; here's one to their article 12 Best Hangover Foods That Can Make You Feel Better!)

I suppose, as a last (or first) resort, you can give products like Hangover Helper a try, though I can't personally vouch for it, or any's, efficacy. (FINAL FREAKING 2024 UPDATE! Hangover Helper is no longer A Thing--instead, here's A Pharmacist's Guide to OTC Hangover Remedies!)

Probably the best thing you can do for yourself is eat like you're just getting over a stomach bug and get as much rest as you possibly can. And next time you go out boozing, be sure you've filled your stomach with a good dinner beforehand and pace yourself, damn it. What are you, just out of college?

(Ed. Ignore me; I'm just snippy 'cause I haven't had a drink since August 2012 and God knows I coulda used several!)