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Spooktoberfest!
This blog hop is hosted by Jackie at Bouquet of Books and Dani of Entertaining Interests. The challenge? Compose a 300-word piece of flash fiction in which you use the following five words (singular or plural):
- cobweb
- cauldron
- jack-o-lantern
- ghost
- razor
Crocked
by Mina Lobo
(293 Words)
“Stupid, not-working spell.”
“Sophia, how can you say that when the happy result sits before you?” Hecate asked, elegantly waving a hand over herself.
My eyes shot razors at the Witch Goddess. “I wouldn’t say ‘happy.’”
“Well, if you’re unsatisfied, you’ve only yourself to blame. Perhaps if you’d used an actual cauldron instead of that…that…what was it?”
“A crock pot.”
“Yes, that.” The platinum-blonde deity from ancient Greece sniffed her disdain. “Proper technique is the key to successful spell-casting, my dear.”
“Keep your voice down, unless you want everyone at this Halloween shindig to know who you are,” I snarled.
“I’ve nothing to hide, nor did I ask to be summoned.”
“I didn’t summon you, I invoked the ‘Beauty of Hecate.’”
“And here I am!” Hecate did the hand waving thing again.
I downed my fourth (fifth?) vodka shot. If only she hadn’t been so gorgeous. The diaphanous gown Hecate wore made her look all Sexy-Ghost-Going-To-A-Very-Adult-Party, whereas my jack-o-lantern ensemble miserably failed to highlight my (dubious) assets. Damn that costume shop clerk; I’d said pumpkin colored, not—
“Who’s that toothsome terror?”
I took another shot, then looked. My heart sank. “That’s Troy. The reason I cast the spell.”
Alerted by some sixth/sex sense, the muscular “werewolf” turned and locked eyes with Hecate, then goggled as she rose sinuously to her feet.
“Well, sack my walled city,” Hecate purred, beckoning Troy with a crook of her finger.
“Oh, no…you’re not going to—”
“—clear the cobwebs from my cave? Oh, yes.” She gave me a lurid wink as the wolf man panted his way over to her. “Leave a torch lit for me, would you?”
“Woof!” said Troy, proffering an arm.
“Indeed,” said Hecate, taking it.
And then they left me there.
Crocked.
Ha! This was great! And I loved the replacement of a cauldron with a crock pot. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, LG!
DeleteToo funny! Dressed as a pumpkin and to summon a beauty instead of turn into one. Loved it! My life in even less words!
ReplyDeleteWord, me too! :)
DeleteOh my gosh, I loved this! ;) Love the last "sack my walled city" and the "clear the cobwebs", hahahaha. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly, Trisha!
DeleteI agree with Trisha. In fact, I need to find someone to "clear the cobwebs from my cave." Sorry, have I shared to much. Great story. haha.
ReplyDeleteLord, woman, so do I, for REALZ! ;)
DeleteI literally sprayed Mtn Dew from my nose with the "Crock Pot" & " clear the cob-webs" lines. There should have been a warning for self injury. lol. GREAT piece!
ReplyDeleteDude, mountain dew through the nose does NOT sound like a good time, and yet, I have to admit to feeling pleased. Thanks for the fabulous compliment!
DeleteLOL on the crock pot!!!! That made me laugh so hard!!!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks, JoJo!
Deletesuch a funny ending! cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteMerci bien, Tara!
DeleteI have to concur on the crock pot line, that's good stuff. Thanks for the story.
ReplyDeleteVon L Cid
Thanks for checking it out!
DeleteGreat entry, I love your uses for the mandatory words :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura!
DeleteWell, shizzle-my-nizzle! You can write, gurlfrend! And I love that word, 'diaphanous' - one for me to jot down on my word book. It's sexy and witty but in a 'yeah-I'm-winking-at-you' kind of way. Love it :D More! MORE!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Homeslice!
DeleteThis was genius! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating in our blogfest. :D
Thank YOU (& Dani) for hosting this blogfest - it spurred a story using a character with a supporting role in my Greek myths based romance novel (Hecate) that I had no idea was wanting to be told. :D
DeleteA crock pot!!! That's Awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Juli!
DeleteY'all, I'm commenting from my phone, which is a MAJOR PITA, 'cause my stupid Interwebs ain't working at home. (Again.) I'm traveling for work this weekend and will try to post using the WiFi on Amtrak (assuming the cars that aren't business class have WiFi). ANYWAY, I'm determined to read every Spooktoberfest participant's entry, if not this weekend, then over the course of the week, God willing. So thanks to all for checking out my scriblings!
ReplyDeleteVery funny. I will never look at my crock pot the same. :)
ReplyDeleteCrocked while using a crockpot, very cleveeeeer!
ReplyDeleteCatherine Stine’s Idea City
@Teresa - I'll bet! :-)
ReplyDelete@Catherine - See what I did there, huh, huh? ;-)
Haha; gotta pay attention to the directions when casting a spell. I love how the spell manifest.
ReplyDelete.......dhole
Thanks, Donna!
Deletehaha...LOVE this! This was definitely one of my faves. Great job on it! I'm a new follower btw. Nice to meet you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, welcome, and likewise!
DeleteVery clever and entertaining!
ReplyDeleteMerci bien!
DeleteNice to meet you Mina.
ReplyDeleteI love the line, "Well, sack my walled city." Made me laugh along with the whole crock pot theme. Well done.
Nancy
Thanks so much, Nancy; I did worry that folks might not get the reference. :)
DeleteSo sorry I am late to the party.:) This was terrific! You have an incredible wit and style to this piece. I could just see it all and feel the frustration of the poor jack o'lantern spellcaster.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Melissa! <3 <3 <3
DeleteVery fun, creative story! The funny side of Halloween is neglected too often.
ReplyDeleteThanks, and agreed! :)
DeleteLoL! Imagine using a crock pot over a cauldron! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading!
DeleteHey lady. As usual, you write most people I know off the page. Things aren't going well for your heroine are they? Maybe I should have sent my hero to to that party instead of sending him to an impending doom! Well done, i think the Reese's Pieces may be yours you know...
ReplyDeleteAw! Thanks so much, my friend! I'd send my gal over to help your hero, except I have a feeling she'd turn them both into snails, or something. ;)
DeleteThis is great - definitely one of my favorites! The crockpot is perfect :)
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly, T!
ReplyDeleteLoved! Fun and quirky and flirty and does so much with so little words! Fantastic!
ReplyDeleteMan, youse guys are making me feel all warm and fuzzy! Thanks, Ava!
DeleteLove the story! I always like stories with humor, and I admit feeling really badly for the main character.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS Gothma! You won :) I said it first, and I'm so chuffed for you. A sign of things to come, maybe?
ReplyDeleteWell done, you deserve it :) x
@moonduster - thanks! And yeah, I feel sorry for poor Sophia too. :-(
ReplyDelete@Mark - SQUEE, I KNOW!!!!!!! Thanks, Mark - this win means quite a lot to me. You know, you're feeling down about not getting anywhere with your writing and then BAM - validation. Rock on!!!!! :-D
Mina, so happy for you. Such an excellent story! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Yolanda!
DeleteOkay, so I'm all kinds of behind on the news but CONGRATULATIONS Mina! Just read your entry and it is really good. Love the snark and humor, you write it so well!
ReplyDeleteMerci beaucoup, Elise!
DeleteAwesome. I love the idea of using a crock pot instead of a cauldron 'cause I have a crock pot.
ReplyDeleteThen I will be VERY CAREFUL NOT to PISS YOU OFF! ;-)
Delete